Lasting change · A guide from me to you
Change that fits your real life
You have decided: this time, you want something to last. Then a busy working week, a poor night’s sleep or an unexpected day arrives. That does not mean your wish was wrong. Your plan may need to meet more sides of your life.
By lasting change, I mean steps you can return to and adapt over time. Start with something that matters to you, make the action clear and explore the conditions it needs.
01 / Understand
Start with why it matters to you
A habit can look good on paper and still feel out of place in your life. Before choosing what to do, consider what you want more room for. Rest? Connection? Curiosity? A sense that your time can belong to you too?
“I should walk every day” can become “I want time outdoors where I can be alone with my thoughts”. You can then choose an action that suits that wish, rather than someone else’s level of ambition.
To explore what you need, start with the self-awareness guide. You can change your goal as you come to understand yourself better.
Change that belongs to you
What do I want
more room for?
- Meaning
- Steps
- Support
- Returning
02 / Recognise
When everyday life meets what you want.
You may recognise one of these situations. Choose a question that feels relevant and begin there.
The plan becomes bigger than the day.
What you intended may need a smaller version when your time or energy changes.
What small step actually fits today?
Getting started feels difficult.
Look at what surrounds the action. Preparing one thing can make beginning easier.
What can I put out, simplify or ask for?
An interruption feels like failure.
You can explore what happened and choose another opportunity. Returning can be small too.
How would I like to help myself return?
Make room for your real life
Make the step clear and small enough to begin
“More time for myself” is a direction. “When I get home, I will sit for a moment without my phone” is an action to try. Choose an opportunity already present in your day and describe what you want to do then.
Create a smaller version too. If a long walk does not fit, perhaps you can go outside briefly. If a page of reflection feels too much, one sentence may be enough. The smaller version is an adjustment, not a promise of the same outcome.
Let your surroundings help you begin
Motivation is not the only part of change. Look at what surrounds the action. Is your notebook where you want to use it? Does the time actually exist in your calendar? Does someone else need to know you want to do things differently?
Choose one preparation: put out what you need, simplify a step or ask for specific help. If something new is to fit, something else may need less space. It is reasonable to consider both responsibilities and rest.
Imagine wanting to read at night but only looking for a book when you are already tired. Choosing it earlier and leaving it in sight may be a simpler experiment than demanding more discipline from yourself.
03 / Try it yourself
A curious moment with your change.
Choose a small situation and open one step at a time. Reflect quietly or write on paper. Your notes stay with you.
Choose a time to look back. Describe what you tried, what helped and what you want to change. A plan that needs adjusting tells you something about how change meets your life.
What was easier than I expected?
Begin with an actual attempt. Notice whether the time, place or preparation made a difference.
What helped me was …
What made the step difficult?
Describe the obstacle concretely. Was it time, energy, support or a plan that was hard to understand?
What was missing was …
Does the direction still matter to me?
Return to what you wanted more room for. You can change the action as you understand your need better.
What still matters is …
Do I want to continue, simplify or choose something else?
Choose another attempt that fits your circumstances. It may be smaller, happen at another time or need help.
My next attempt will be …
04 / Take it with you
Reflect with curiosity and choose your next step
For a connected exercise, read five small steps towards change. To explore further, there is my online program and the option to ask about individual coaching.
At your own pace
Create Change – Inside Out
My online program has six modules, following a path from your starting point and relationship with yourself to self-leadership, habits and practical steps towards change.
Explore my programTogether with me
Individual coaching
Would you like to explore your own questions in a conversation? In coaching, we start with your current situation, your goals and the change you want to create.
Read about coaching with meFrom a wish to a small experiment.
Read five small steps that connect reflection with action.
